The Freaks Come Out On Wednesdays

Today has been a very busy day in my dating world. No real prospects just a bunch of hot messes contacting me. To start:

I got an e-mail earlier on one of my dating sites from... (drum roll please) a family. A husband, wife and their 2 boys aged 2 & 7. wtf? They said that they are looking for "some new connections" because they're "tired of their flaky friends that never show up or show up late." What kinds of "friends" are these, pray tell, and what are they showing up late for? The Swingers Ball that is no doubt happening in your Thomas Kinkade-themed bedroom? The e-mail also came with a festive holiday photo of the family. I’d put it on here but I feel bad for the kids in the picture. Feliz Navidad! I’m sure daddio’s looking to stuff a stocking. It will not be mine though.

I also received another message with several pictures of various men that said:

If you are currently corresponding with any of the men pictured here please message me.
If you are currently actively dating any of the men pictured here PLEASE message me.
If you are currently sleeping with any of the men pictured here PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE message me.

I have information about all of them that could save you a lot of time and heart ache.
Worst is that my heart just broke over one of them because I just found out that he's still on here and is still active.

She’s got 99 problems but a bitch aint one. Men. Men are all of her problems. Oh, and she's probably really crazy too.

These dating sites are fodder for all the mentals. I’m sure most of these aren’t even real but *somebody* is creating these profiles. They’re not being made by robots.

Let’s see… I also just got an e-mail from ‘huntersrule’. It says: “Hello life is so short! Would you like to dance?” No.

Lastly, this guy sent me a message that he’s interested in meeting me. Dead animals on the wall? A bear montage? Street lingo? Holla! I think this one’s a keeper. Wait. I mean creeper.