Nein Knackwurst

I went on a second date with Birkenstocks last weekend. We met out for drinks. It was fine. We had great conversation and generally a fun time. He did bring up some of the fine products that come from Germany: Mercedes-Benz, some fancy knife thing and yes, of course, Birkenstocks. I’m willing to bet this guy likes him some David Hasselhoff. Since this is a short blog post, I’ll insert a picture here:

There’s really not much else to say about it. Overall, it was a pretty good date. Howeverrrrr…. when we walked out I went in for the handshake/hug. It was so awk. I literally said “Uh, what are we doing here?” That’s when he mauled me like a fucking grizzly just coming out of hibernation. Or something unwelcome and aggressive. He asked me to drive him to his car and I said yes. (Yeah, I know.) When I dropped him off it was wash, rinse, repeat. Additional mauling. I informed him to put back anything he had taken out and be on his way since that was really more of a third date thing. Which will not be happening. He texted me a couple days later saying that he hoped I had a good weekend. It was great, thanks. My tongue had to undergo some minor reconstructive surgery but we’re all better now.

That’s about all I have to write about. Things were slowing down for me for a bit there but now they’re picking up again. I don’t have anything planned except for a date tonight. This one is with a guy who 5’ 6”. A friend of mine came over to my desk this morning and asked to see his profile. She went over it with a fine tooth comb and said to me in a very serious way: “O.K. See here? Now, he’s short so be prepared for that.” Like I was about to walk into a situation where he had a goiter on his face. It was pretty humorous. I hadn’t noticed that about him and it’s really not an issue for me. I’m less than 5’ 3” myself. But it did spark a heated (not really though) facebook debate on whether or not I should wear the 5” platform shoes I was planning on wearing. I will. Things seem to be working out well for Casey and Jean Kasem. Why mess with a good thing?