Bachelor # 2 was with a guy who was I had been texting with for about a week & a half or so. He was really funny & quick-witted so I thought it would be a good time. He had told me the day before our date that he had a tooth pulled that day so I was surprised he didn’t cancel. I probably would have. Anyway, I get to the restaurant/bar at the appointed time and saw him. He was a shawtie which is fine because so am I. However, I had some 5” heels on so I was about his height. But looking at him, I couldn’t help but think “I bet this is what it would look like if Chaz Bono & Dennis the Mennace mated.” He had on a button-down shirt that was way too big on him plus he was wearing a backwards baseball hat and jelly bracelets. Really? You’re 35 years old and you’re on a date, guy.
Of course, this is probably what he’s most comfortable with and this is who he is so far be it for me to judge him. Just kidding. I’m going to judge him. But just not harshly because I’m really nice like that. I suppose it’s fine. It’s just not my cup ‘o tea. Anyway, I get there and he almost immediately tells me that he’s hopped up on the Vicodin juice and that beer he just drank did not help the situation. He informed me that his dentist told him he wasn’t supposed to drink for several days. By this time he was already on his second beer (we were still just even waiting for our table, mind you.) and then the bartender gives us a complimentary shot of gin. So we finally sit down to dinner and I don’t know if he was just so out of it or what but it was like pulling teeth (I guess this is a theme) to make conversation with this guy. Also, we were at a restaurant with a(n awesome) polka band playing at full blast so it was hard to have conversation anyway. It just surprised me because he was so interesting on the celly and kind of a dud in person. But I know there could be a few factors at play. First dates are never awesome in the beginning, he probably wasn’t feeling well just having had a tooth pulled and then probably the biggest factor was that he was cranked out on prescription meds and alcohol. Eventually, I was able to extract some conversation from him. Thankfully or I would have never known that he’s been wearing the same pair of shoes almost every day for the past 7 (seven) years. He’s had them re-soled, too, so he could keep wearing them. Can you imagine how bad those smell? Also, at one point he asked me if I could take my shoes off so he could see how tall he was compared to me. He’s a guy with height issues. So, we got through dinner and hung out talking for a bit until they kicked us out. He told me he wasn’t feeling well and asked if I’d drive him home. I was on my couch and watching my stories by 10:45.
Of course, this is probably what he’s most comfortable with and this is who he is so far be it for me to judge him. Just kidding. I’m going to judge him. But just not harshly because I’m really nice like that. I suppose it’s fine. It’s just not my cup ‘o tea. Anyway, I get there and he almost immediately tells me that he’s hopped up on the Vicodin juice and that beer he just drank did not help the situation. He informed me that his dentist told him he wasn’t supposed to drink for several days. By this time he was already on his second beer (we were still just even waiting for our table, mind you.) and then the bartender gives us a complimentary shot of gin. So we finally sit down to dinner and I don’t know if he was just so out of it or what but it was like pulling teeth (I guess this is a theme) to make conversation with this guy. Also, we were at a restaurant with a(n awesome) polka band playing at full blast so it was hard to have conversation anyway. It just surprised me because he was so interesting on the celly and kind of a dud in person. But I know there could be a few factors at play. First dates are never awesome in the beginning, he probably wasn’t feeling well just having had a tooth pulled and then probably the biggest factor was that he was cranked out on prescription meds and alcohol. Eventually, I was able to extract some conversation from him. Thankfully or I would have never known that he’s been wearing the same pair of shoes almost every day for the past 7 (seven) years. He’s had them re-soled, too, so he could keep wearing them. Can you imagine how bad those smell? Also, at one point he asked me if I could take my shoes off so he could see how tall he was compared to me. He’s a guy with height issues. So, we got through dinner and hung out talking for a bit until they kicked us out. He told me he wasn’t feeling well and asked if I’d drive him home. I was on my couch and watching my stories by 10:45.
I met Bachelor #3 out for dinner last night. He was driving a monster truck. Need I say more? o.k. I will. Like Friday night’s date he was also very nice but horrible in the conversation department. I tried to ask a bunch of questions to get him to talk but he didn’t elaborate much. I also found out that he has only been divorced for a month and that he & his ex-wife are “best friendzzzz". How nice. But I know what that means. My ex-husband was one of my “best friends” for a while too. wink wink. And maybe that’s not the case here, but I follow my intuitions and they’re usually right. We finished up dinner, he gave me a hug and walked to his monster truck. I sat in my car for a minute checking my phone. As he drove away in his monster truck he revved his engine and, at the same time, stole a piece of my heart. Git ‘r done!!
As a side note, I haven’t seen Bachelor #1 since our first date. I suspected he was somewhat of a player and my suspicions were confirmed so I just keep on keepin’ on.
If #2 and #3 didn't sound so dull, I'd call you out for not separating their blog entries. I do however, have 2 questions -
ReplyDelete1. What kind of seven year old shoes did #2 have? Tennis shoes, oxfords, loafers???
2. Did #3 have Calvin pissing on anything on his truck?