Tor-sooooo Hot

On any given day trolling a dating site I will see more torsos than I've seen in person in my life. Men seem to love the strategy of luring us unsuspecting females into their den of inequity by dangling this fleshy carrot in front of our faces. heh... fleshy carrot. But golly gee this strategy is a solid one. 100% of the time I see someone's belly button I think "I can't wait until I can sip on mai tais with the rest of that body." So let’s tiptoe trough the torsos, shall we?. (That sounds so serial killer. But I think that's why I like it.)

Oh, and before I begin, people always ask where I find these pictures. I just want to let everyone know that these are all *local* guys that I see on the dating sites. All within my distance and age range. In a nutshell, this is the shit show from which I have to choose from.

Now that we've got that out of the way, let's start with Torso #1. No fuss, no muss. He's got an inney. Just your average every day torso that you took a picture of to post on your dating profile. Kewl.

Oh look, more mid-section! This one has gotten a little artistic with his body shot. The flash makes it look like his head is exploding. If only...

Keepin' it casual. Just leaning against the door holding my camera telephone. No biggie. But, yeah, I spent the last 4 hours plucking my nipples for this shoot.

Oh and by the way, this guy also gives you a back option sponsored by Z. Cavaricci lest you haven't fallen in love with the front:

There's this...

Just in case you missed that:

Nine teen fucking ninety? I believe that's like 22 years ago? I find it quite amusing that 'ol dude is posting a picture of what he looked like in his hay day. I wouldn't have the nerve to post a pic now of what I looked like when I was in my early 20s. Because I do not look like that anymore so it's a moot point. Also, he does not look like this anymore. But at least he did have some sense to post current pictures. Not all men give us ladies the courtesy of posting relatively recent images of themselves. Or pictures of themselves at all. Like the guy who has this as his dating profile image:

Yes, Rocky n Adrian... we should all be so lucky to find a love like theirs. Or to be able to run up all those steps like Rocky! I never actually saw that movie but those have always been my take-aways.

International Fail catalog? I'm ready for my close-up.

What the... how'd this one get in here? Just some guy pressing his ass up to the bathroom mirror to really entice the ladies. And I guess you do get some side boob/torso. Back that thang up and give me yo numba!

This guy likes to mess around at the gym. Oh, and sometimes people just so happen to take his picture as he's taking his shirt off. I can only imagine the fun they have in the showers!

This particular torso is precious because he's clearly snapping this pic in a public bathroom. Either that or he's rich as fuck and able to afford hand dryers installed on his bathroom wall. Only poor people use hand towels. But what's best about this public bathroom picture is that he pulled his pants down and is holding on to them. I hope he checked the cleaning crew schedule hanging on the door before he took this chance. Very daring!! Jot this guy down as a solid "maybe".

"For those who want this pic". What about those that don't want this pic? You're really not giving us much of a choice in the matter.

If this fella loves his country as much as he loves his stomach and his mom, I think I'm in love.

More public bathroom torso shots!!! I wonder if he goes to the gym with that other guy. Maybe take one another's pictures... slap each other with towels. This torso's got its towel hung low to get your tiny imagination going, manscaping but not too much manscaping. This guy's sure to sell fast.

By far the most uncomfortable torso shot I've seen:

But if that doesn't work for you, he's also interested in bowling, sky diving & fishing.

I seriously could go on and on with this torso douche parade. Do women take gratuitous boob shots & post them? Is that the equivalent? I'm guessing so but I can't be sure. But now that you're either thoroughly disgusted or thoroughly turned on, I think I'm going to call this one a day. I'll probably do a couple thousand crunches and set the flip phone to Camera. My dating profile could use a refresher. Fuck it. I'll just go in the bathroom and take pictures of my boobs. They're just sitting here doing nothing for society. May as well put them to use.