When In Doubt, Talk About Dead Things

Bachelor #29 and I corresponded via internets and then spoke on the phone. He was very nice. We made arrangements to have lunch and let me pick where I wanted to go. Which meant no Mexican. He wore his fanciest adidas soccer sandals on the date. He spoke for the better part of 2 hours and didn't ask me anything about myself. We left. It's a wrap.

My date could have taken a queue from David here. He doesn't want to talk about himself. He wants to conversate our brains out, Aquarian goddesses.

The phenomenon of not asking someone - more specifically, me - anything about themselves - more specifically, myself - is quite prevalent among the dating community. I've probably mentioned this many times before. From my experience it's because a guy is is either completely self-absorbed and/or oblivious or because they are inexperienced daters or just nervous. It was really apparent that this guy was not the former. I was his first first date in probably 2 1/2  or so years so (he just got out of a 2-year relationship a few months ago) and I think he was just trying to avoid awkward silences. He was really nice and I could tell he wasn't a douche bag so, while I was a little put off, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Lord knows I need people to do that for me on a daily basis. I wasn't attracted to him, per say, but he did have a nice voice so if I had to listen to his stories for 2 hours, that helped. Anyway, because he seemed like a decent guy, I decided to go out with him again when he asked. I didn't want to write him off immediately and I figured I'd use this second date to gauge what my interest level was. We met for lunch and I guess he had told me everything he wanted to tell me on our first date because the conversation this time around was sparse. On this second excursion, we (he) discussed a plumbing repair he was making and that he needed to pick his bow up from the repair shoppe. I felt like we were an old ass boring couple sitting around Shady Pines watching Jeopardy that had nothing interesting to talk about anymore. Except that we never really had anything interesting to talk about ever. He & I never once discussed anything of substance like politics or which fictional TV planet was the best: Ork or Melmac. (The correct answer is Melmac.) I felt obligated to at least try to earn my salad so I wracked my brain to create conversation. I knew he like to kill things with a bow and arrow so at one point I asked him what part of the deer to hit with an arrow to kill it faster. That's what this date's topics had been reduced to. For the record, it's somewhere by the back of the something or other. Where the heart is. Even though I asked I apparently didn't pay a lot of attention to the answer. I think somebody walked past the window with a sequin shirt or something and I got distracted. Sparkly... Actually, what I truly got distracted by was him answering his phone for the second time in 20 minutes. Also, where to shoot an animal with a stick is not something I'll ever need to know. ooh... how ironic would it be if I some day I get lost in the forest and needed to kill a deer for survival? Boy would I feel like a jack ass for not having paid attention.

Scratch that. I just googled "deer anatomy" and I'm fine. And now you all are too. Happy hiking!

Anyway, we're just two really different people. And different can be a great thing if you both have things to talk about and find one another intriguing. But I just do not have any inclination to get to know him more.

So once again Cupid's arrow was a draw and a miss. But at least I have learned something new. If I'm ever confronted by a rabid Bambi, I'll know just where to stab it. I guess now I should start carrying a Swiss Army knife with me at all times. In hindsight, that's probably something I should have been doing for this entire date-a-thon. Although its probably best for some of these turds I've been out with that I wasn't.