Square Peg(s)

This thought became a reoccurring theme for today’s blog so let’s just cut to the chase and not pretend any longer that this song isn’t the first thing that came to your head:

And if it didn't, then I barely knew you. So on to the first, and only, order of business: Bachelor #28. Dating site… yada yada… It’s not too infrequent that I get an e-mail from someone on one of these sites. But whenever I get the notification on my flip phone, I usually just ignore it until I can get in front of a screen with more than 12 pixels so I can fully assess their tribal tattoo and/or shaker sweater situation. I was pleasantly surprised when I got an e-mail from an actual attractive person with an interesting profile that also had 0 (zero) pictures of him in front of his bathroom mirror or holding a dead turkey. Or both. We began the process of emailing and he was able to carry on a good conversation. On more than a few occasions I’ve gotten e-mails from someone who had an amusing or worth-reading profile but then they were a complete dud in real time. Which leads me to believe that they had someone with an actual personality write their profile. But this guy had a great brain and was funny. So eventually we met in person. We have opposite schedules so we agreed to meet for coffee over my lunch hour. He dressed well. He was able to talk about actual things that aren’t boring like his highest bowling score and kite flying injuries. I had a good time. The bonus was not only did I enjoy talking to him but I also liked looking at his face. A combination as rare for me as spotting a chupacabra. In my back yard. Eating a burrito. While riding a unicycle. o.k. Maybe I took things too far with the unicycle. But I think we’re all clear on this, right?

We hung out a couple more times for coffee and lunch but eventually he decided that he wasn’t interested in pursuing anything other than a friendship with me. [insert that loser horn from the previous post.] I’m used to being the diss-er and not the diss-ee so it was definitely a bruise to the ego. I felt sorry for myself for a hot minute(s) because it is so frustrating when you meet someone you dig and it just doesn’t work out. But I got over that relatively quickly. We can’t all be everyone’s cup of tea no matter how fabulous we think we are. He is certainly entitled to feel the way he does and if it doesn’t work for him then that's way-o.k. with me. I'm sure I've said this before but I don’t have any interest in putting forth effort trying to fit anybody’s square peg into my round hole. Been there. Done that. It sucks. Won't do it again. However, we did still agree to be friends and actually had a really nice lunch the day after this friendship conversation. He seems like a pretty swell guy and I could see us being franns and if that’s the best I get out of this date-a-thon (free enchiladas not withstanding) then that’s not too shabs.

I was supposed to go on a date with Bachelor #29 this past weekend. He kept suggesting we hang out at his house for the date. I resisted the urge to tell him to go fuck himself because it was evident that fucking something was what he had in mind. But instead I politely turned his offer down. So he cancelled our date entirely. Obviously that was going to be my next move anyway but he beat me to the punch. However, there is hope. I have been contacted by a guy with a gigantic wolf mural on the hood of his truck, another guy posing *in* a port-o-potty and another whose interest was listed as "drawing women". (I smell a Christmas card rendering!) I bet this is what Jesse Jackson really meant when he advised us to keep hope alive. So, my search continues finding the right guy who has the perfect round peg for my perfect round hole.