Men Like Dead Things!

I like to find commonalities in mens' dating profiles and make fun of them. I hope this doesn't get old because I could do this all day. Today's feature is men posing with dead animals. There's a lot of this on the profiles of single mens. No comprende. I mean, I like to fish. Therefore, I have touched many dead fish. But even if I did pose with a picture of my newly acquired catch, I would never think to post it on a dating profile. I suppose it probably goes back to the caveman mentality that, unfortunately, so many men still hang on to. But I'll digress. Let's look at some pictures of men and dead stuff!

Man pose with stinky crab. Eat crab. nom nom nom

Next, here's a guy and a little dead fish throwin' up the peace sign.

Now this is more like it. A guy with an even BIGGER dead fish. Bigger fish = bigger penis. It's science.

Let's move on to dead fowl. Guy with a dead turkey... I've seen this a million times on these sites. Booooring.

Now here's a switch. Several men and several dead birds. Nice change of pace, fellas!

And here's just a guy posing with his puppy and a frozen turkey. Alright.

Let's see... What else? Oh. Now this one is my favorite. Nothing says 'eligible bachelor' more than a guy with a picture of himself and a crispy pig's anus. mmmm... This was his main picture, by the by.

Not to get off-topic but he also had this picture on his profile. It was a work of art he made in high school, apparently. I don't get why anyone would even think to add something they made in high school when they're 40 years old. I made my son when I was in high school and I would never post pics of him on a dating profile.

This is kind of related to the dead things topic. It's just a guy with his face being unzipped. (Again, a main profile picture.)

So that's it. As I said, I noticed that guys tend to do this so I started lurking for supporting pictures. It really only took me about 20 minutes to pull all these together because they're everywhere. And I didn't even use all of the ones I found. I did, however, also come upon this picture with very optimistic caption. This *kind of* applies to the whole dead things topic because his dream, like a pig's anus, will one day be nothing but a charred pile of ashes. (I kid. Really, I do.)