I had a date with Bachelor #25 yesterday. This won’t be a terribly interesting post because he didn’t appear to be crazy. Plus, I kept it to lunch during the work day instead of drinks at night. That’s when the real freak comes out. Anyway, he hit me up the other day when I was trolling a dating site. He reminded me that we had been chatting a few months ago but then I stopped responding to him. The first thing I thought was “What creepy thing did you say to turn me off?” But I kept that thought to myself. We chatted online for a while and he appeared to be fairly normal. We exchanged numbers and he was appropriate in both the frequency and content of his text messages. No too shabs. Man, it’s a sad day in paradise when things like this are noteworthy. Anyway, he seemed pretty nice so we met at the local Chipotle.
When he got there I went in for a handshake, he went in for a hug. Awkward hugging ensued. We sat down for lunch and were having a pretty decent conversation. He asked me questions and listened to the answers. He didn’t say anything too “the fuck?”. However, at some point he started touching my leg with his. At first I thought it was accidental so I moved a few times to give him some more leg room. I even gave him the “oh, sorry.” and then moved my leg out of the way. But then he’d juxtapose to go back to the leg touch again. He did this a minimum of, let’s say, 6 times. Now, I watch Tough Love: New Orleans and I’ve heard all about this “touch a guy so they know they’re interested” fad. But I just wasn’t on board with the physical contact. It could have been worse though, I suppose. Much worse. Like the guy who came up to me at a bar holding out his hands and telling me that his hands are scales and asked if I wanted to know how much my boobs weighed. He could have done that. So I guess I’ll let this slide. We finished lunch. He added a second awkward hug to the docket and we went on our way.
By the by, I did some googling to find an awkward hug .gif and, surprisingly, I found a ton of videos on hugging how-tos. Here's a fun quiz: What's worse than an awkward hug? An awkward video about awkward hugging. Exhibits W, T & F:
That’s about it. Not really a lot to report here. Again, ANOTHER nice guy but there was no chemistry from my perspective. And, for all I know, not for him either.
By the by, I did respond to the artists’ rendering profile picture’s [see below] e-mail the other day. Just so I could be like “What’s the deal with your picture, guy?”. He said “I have a sketch instead. Keep in touch!” derp. No shit you have a sketch. But let’s get down to the meat of the matter: why? Whatever.
So anyway, I only have 5 more bachelors to go. hollerrrrrrr!! What are the chances I’ll meet the love ‘o my life in final stretches of this blog? Not likely? Alrightey then. Well, if the next 5 don’t work out I’m treating myself to an all-you-can-eat buffet with boob hand scales guy.
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