So obviously I’ve had a case of the Slack McGees. I’ve been pretty uninspired to write a new blog post. Mostly because I’m almost completely disinterested in dating right now. Plus, I’ve been more focused on breaking up with some of the extra junk in my trunk. Lately, a 2 hour workout is more interesting to me than meeting some dude out for enchiladas. And that should say something because 1.) enchiladas are fucking awesome and 2.) working out fucking sucks. Unless, of course, I could do it all from the comfort of my favorite chair like on that 'Sit and Be Fit'. Unfortunately, my favorite chair actually happens to be my bed.
However, that being said, I did go on a date last week. Allow me introduce you to Bachelor #19. This fella is fresh off the boat from Scotland. Well, not really. He came here about 12 or so years ago. So that means awesome accent. It could also maybe mean a kilt which, I'm not gonna lie, intrigues me. awwww yeah...
Also, in most of his pictures he had the kind of facial hair situation that I’m into. So far so good! He & I started chatting on a Wednesday afternoon. Then we moved that party to text messages. He was very nice and for almost a full 24 hours he didn’t say anything that made me uncozy! That first day of talking we made plans to meet for lunch on Friday. By Thursday morning he had asked if I could meet with him that day because he didn’t want to wait another day to meet me. awww. Isn’t that special? Too bad I already had plans. So I agreed to meet him that night at the bar he works at on the east side. He asked me to get there early before it got busy so we could chit chat.
I got there. We met. He was very nice. More importantly, he hooked a sista up with the all-you-can-drink buffet. I had a hard time understanding him at first though. That Scottish accent, while fantastic, was also really difficult to decipher. At one point I just flat out told him that I’m having a hard time understanding him which he said was good to know because most people just sit there & nod their head. But after a while I kind of got the hang of it. I think watching 'Head of the Class' when Billy Connolly was the teacher helped to prepare me.
Anyway, he was quite nice but as we were talking I learned a few things about him that I wasn’t a major fan of. First, the bartender thing. Obviously I knew that about him already. I wasn’t in love, or even like, of that factoid from the beginning. Especially given that he’s 43. I know he started bartending when he lost his job 2 years ago. And I get that it’s a good part-time gig. But he didn’t seem too ambitious to get a full-time job. Or ambitious at all, by his own admission. Which, IMHO, he probably should be since he has an 11-year-old son. That, and he told me that his 2 years of unemployment was running out in 5 weeks and he can’t cut the financial mustard without it. Way to procrastinate, guy. The next ‘meh’ flag was the fact that he got this bartending gig because at the time he was dating the bar manager. They broke up about a year ago and she’s still his boss. And, bonus, she came into the bar while I was there. He told me he’s mad at her now so they’re not talking. That just seemed kind of weird. He made a few other comments that made me wonder how over the situation he was. Alright, next on the “things that make you go hmmm” list is the fact that he has a roommate. It was almost like I was dating a guy who was in his early-20s. And everyone who knows me knows that I barely wanted to have anything to do with 20-somethings when I was in my 20s. Now that I’m almost 40, I sure as hell don’t want anything to do with them or someone who is seemingly stuck there. Or has reverted there? Anyway, in a nutshell, nice guy but totally not somebody that I’d want to date and I’ll leave it at that. However, I’m sure if I stopped in his bar again I’d probably still get a free Spotted Cow. So I guess I get at least one consolation prize from this experience.
I’ve got tentative plans to go out with Bachelor #20 on Wednesday. Also, as I was having dinner with my friend on Saturday night and we were discussing how much dating sucks, I got an e-mail from someone who is actually super interesting to me. We e-mailed back & forth yesterday so we’ll see how that goes. However, I’m sure the e-mails from online daters will be fewer & more far between because I shut down half (2) of the sites I’m on and another 25% (1) are on their way to being obliterated. But I have a lot of doozies in my in-box right now that I am looking forward to sharing with y'all. Like the e-mail I got from the guy whose profession is "waiter/inventor" who told me he likes to paint with pastels and, oh... and he was in prison for 18 months for fraud. Great introduction! There was a loooot more to that e-mail too. I'll keep you in suspense on whether or not I responded.
Lastly, at brunch yesterday my friend told me about how she was once tricked into going on a date with some guy under the guise of a ‘group outing’, only to have it be just the 2 of them. I kindly thanked her for this bit of street smart savvy and said that I might be using this technique to rassle in the next 10 bachelors. I know a lot of dudes so it would be an easy way of pounding out the last few dates. Figuratively, that is. I aint no whore.
“Until next time, America!” - Maury Povich
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