Enter the Slacker

Oh, I've been entered! ew. That sounded weird. I was going for an "Oh, it's been broughen'!" thing. Anyway, moving on. I've had 2 dates since my last post. (That sounded very Catholic school confessional) Let's get on with the show.

First, I was supposed to have a date with a different potential Bachelor #20 but, after our first textchange, it turned into a “Don’t call me and I won’t call you” situation. However, I did go out with the guy from the previous post who e-mailed me when I was out to dinner with my friend. Meet Bachelor #20. Before we met in person we had e-mailed back & forth a good deal, texted a lot and even had a few relatively lengthy phone conversations. He is very nice, he lives about 3 minutes away from me (which could be convenient) and, coincidentally, his son goes to my kids’ school. He also has a really good job and is very smart. He was a little on the boring side but I decided to stick with it because sometimes people are just reserved when they are first getting to know someone. So, after about a week or 2 chit-chatting we met out on a Friday night. He took me to a nice, non-Mexican restaurant and we had pretty good conversation. Then we took that party to a bar near where we both live. Whilst at said bar a friend of mine rolled up in there and was able to meet him. At pretty much the same time, another friend of mine texted me & asked if I wanted to meet up with her at the bar where she was going to be for her birthday. (A bar where we were going to be the only crackers there. Which is totally something I’m fine with but you never know how others are going to feel about that.) He totally rolled with the punches and said he was on board going anywhere I wanted to go. Bonus points.

No, but really... it was a pretty decent night. He was still a little reserved and dry for my tastes though. But 2 of my friends met him and really seemed to like him. We continued to text and he made it very clear that he really likes me. It’s really great to have someone feel that way about you. Even better if the feelings were mutual which, at that point, they weren’t for me.  But, I have the record of “You need to date differently” playing in my head so I decided to give this a chance. However, after a few days I felt like he was... maybe trying too hard? I'm not sure. He was texting me a lot and telling me things like he's never met anyone like me, asking me what my favorite jewelry was, if I ever wanted to get married again, what kind of ring I'd want if I ever got married again. Just things that kind of made me feel panic attack-ey. Yes, there is a very good chance that I could have been reading too much into that. But it still made me a little uncomfortable. Especially since we'd only been out once. However, despite that we did go out a second time. He took me down to the lakefront on a really nice night and introduced me to this great place where you can walk out about a half mile onto the lake. By now it had already become pretty evident that he’s just not my cup of tea though. This guy is attractive, however, I was just having a hard time getting on board because I wasn’t drawn to his personality at all. And we’re not going to Dr. Phil this mother fucker and say that I only like assholes. Because that’s not the case. Grated, I tend to date people with very similar personality patterns (some might (and have) call(ed) them assholes) so someone like him would be a refreshing change. However, he was just sort of dullsville. Along with the trying too hard just made it not good for me. Anyway, we went out for coffee after our long walk along the beach and he told me that he wanted to take me to this crazy ‘spensive restaurant the following Thursday. He also referenced himself as a “boyfriend” twice. Not that he was now but that he thinks he should be. Then, the next day, he texted me telling me that he’s catching feelings (paraphrased) for me and is scared but is ignoring his fears because he’s never met anyone like me. Holy crap. Yeah, that is scary. I was nowhere close to where he was and, in fact, probably close to being on the opposite end of that spectrum. So, I knew it was time to start making decisions. I’d feel awful having him drop a bunch of cash on a fancy dinner when I wasn’t feeling it. And, more importantly, I don’t want to prolong the inevitable. It wasn’t comfortable to me and it wasn’t fair to him. So, on Sunday I sent him a break-up-ish text. (Which prompted me to google this video because I think it’s funny but OBVIOUSLY bears no resemblence to me.)

Anyway, he said that he had seen that coming because he was getting a vibe from me for the past couple of days. I’m really not good at hiding my feelings. I mean, I’m not a bitch but I’m not going to reciprocate to something just for the sake of blowing sunshine up someone's ass. He was very nice about it though and said that if I ever change my mind, that he’d entertain the notion of giving it a second round.

So, close. Totally the kind of guy I could and should date. I just needed a bit more in the clever personality department. I really hope this doesn’t make me sound like an jerk off who has these ultra-high expectations or is just here to shred apart every date just for the hell of it. However, if my objective is to find someone that I want to be with long-term, then it has to be with a man that I find interesting. Someone where I want to call them and have conversations with them, someone who makes me laugh and etcetera. I don’t feel like I should settle. Trust when I say that I have settled in previous relationships and it’s no fun for anyone but them. I kid… Really though, it sucks. Not gonna do it. And I'm not the kind of person who dates someone just to have someone around. As Dionne Warwick would say [two... three... four...] that's what friends are for.

So, I had another date but I’m going to save that for another blog post to make up for all the slacking I’ve been doing. Hopefully I can get around to posting it in the next month. muhahahahaaaa!!!

Head of the... Pass!

So obviously I’ve had a case of the Slack McGees. I’ve been pretty uninspired to write a new blog post. Mostly because I’m almost completely disinterested in dating right now. Plus, I’ve been more focused on breaking up with some of the extra junk in my trunk. Lately, a 2 hour workout is more interesting to me than meeting some dude out for enchiladas. And that should say something because 1.) enchiladas are fucking awesome and 2.) working out fucking sucks. Unless, of course, I could do it all from the comfort of my favorite chair like on that 'Sit and Be Fit'. Unfortunately, my favorite chair actually happens to be my bed.

However, that being said, I did go on a date last week. Allow me introduce you to Bachelor #19. This fella is fresh off the boat from Scotland. Well, not really. He came here about 12 or so years ago. So that means awesome accent. It could also maybe mean a kilt which, I'm not gonna lie, intrigues me. awwww yeah...

Also, in most of his pictures he had the kind of facial hair situation that I’m into. So far so good! He & I started chatting on a Wednesday afternoon. Then we moved that party to text messages. He was very nice and for almost a full 24 hours he didn’t say anything that made me uncozy! That first day of talking we made plans to meet for lunch on Friday. By Thursday morning he had asked if I could meet with him that day because he didn’t want to wait another day to meet me. awww. Isn’t that special? Too bad I already had plans. So I agreed to meet him that night at the bar he works at on the east side. He asked me to get there early before it got busy so we could chit chat.

I got there. We met. He was very nice. More importantly, he hooked a sista up with the all-you-can-drink buffet. I had a hard time understanding him at first though. That Scottish accent, while fantastic, was also really difficult to decipher. At one point I just flat out told him that I’m having a hard time understanding him which he said was good to know because most people just sit there & nod their head. But after a while I kind of got the hang of it. I think watching 'Head of the Class' when Billy Connolly was the teacher helped to prepare me.

Anyway, he was quite nice but as we were talking I learned a few things about him that I wasn’t a major fan of. First, the bartender thing. Obviously I knew that about him already. I wasn’t in love, or even like, of that factoid from the beginning. Especially given that he’s 43. I know he started bartending when he lost his job 2 years ago. And I get that it’s a good part-time gig. But he didn’t seem too ambitious to get a full-time job. Or ambitious at all, by his own admission. Which, IMHO, he probably should be since he has an 11-year-old son. That, and he told me that his 2 years of unemployment was running out in 5 weeks and he can’t cut the financial mustard without it. Way to procrastinate, guy. The next ‘meh’ flag was the fact that he got this bartending gig because at the time he was dating the bar manager. They broke up about a year ago and she’s still his boss. And, bonus, she came into the bar while I was there. He told me he’s mad at her now so they’re not talking. That just seemed kind of weird. He made a few other comments that made me wonder how over the situation he was. Alright, next on the “things that make you go hmmm” list is the fact that he has a roommate. It was almost like I was dating a guy who was in his early-20s. And everyone who knows me knows that I barely wanted to have anything to do with 20-somethings when I was in my 20s. Now that I’m almost 40, I sure as hell don’t want anything to do with them or someone who is seemingly stuck there. Or has reverted there? Anyway, in a nutshell, nice guy but totally not somebody that I’d want to date and I’ll leave it at that. However, I’m sure if I stopped in his bar again I’d probably still get a free Spotted Cow. So I guess I get at least one consolation prize from this experience.

I’ve got tentative plans to go out with Bachelor #20 on Wednesday. Also, as I was having dinner with my friend on Saturday night and we were discussing how much dating sucks, I got an e-mail from someone who is actually super interesting to me. We e-mailed back & forth yesterday so we’ll see how that goes. However, I’m sure the e-mails from online daters will be fewer & more far between because I shut down half (2) of the sites I’m on and another 25% (1) are on their way to being obliterated. But I have a lot of doozies in my in-box right now that I am looking forward to sharing with y'all. Like the e-mail I got from the guy whose profession is "waiter/inventor" who told me he likes to paint with pastels and, oh... and he was in prison for 18 months for fraud. Great introduction! There was a loooot more to that e-mail too. I'll keep you in suspense on whether or not I responded.

Lastly, at brunch yesterday my friend told me about how she was once tricked into going on a date with some guy under the guise of a ‘group outing’, only to have it be just the 2 of them. I kindly thanked her for this bit of street smart savvy and said that I might be using this technique to rassle in the next 10 bachelors. I know a lot of dudes so it would be an easy way of pounding out the last few dates. Figuratively, that is. I aint no whore.

“Until next time, America!”  - Maury Povich