Holy crap… this is turning into a part-time job.

I spend so much time fielding e-mails and IMs from guys. And then when I decide to give them my number I have a bunch of incoming texts on a fairly regular basis. The other night I was e-mailing back & forth with 2 people, texting with 3 more and on IM with another. And that’s IN ADDITION to catching up on the day’s Judge Judy episodes. Thank God I’m an excellent multi-tasker. aka I have a raging case of the ADHD, I think.

The other day I got an IM request from some guy who said “What do I have to do to get your attention? Stand outside your window in pink spandex and dance? oggodey boogedy boo!” My response “I’d rather you didn’t.” Close IM. Block. Next.

I do have a goal here; I’m trying to get at these 29 more dates. It’s not an easy thing. I kind of feel like a politician sans kissing hands and shaking babies. Or something like that. And I’m trying to be fairly selective though which, again, adds another layer of complexity. I’m sure I could reach my 30 dates really fast if I’d just go out with every turd who showed interest. I probably could wrap this up in the next week or two. But I’m not solely doing this just for a numbers game. I am trying to meet some cool people. But it’s just so much work!

Last night it kind of caught up with me. I get a text from a gentleman caller asking me if I liked the Brewers. I gave that a resounding hell to the yes. I asked him if he was planning on cancelling our meet up next week if I had said no. He’s like “Next week? You must have me confused with one of the other cats you’re talking to.” Busssssted! I totally did because this guy & I are supposed to go out tomorrow & I had him confused with someone I’m supposed to hang out with next Wednesday. Well give me a fucking break. How am I supposed to keep all this shit straight? Almost every single guy I’m talking to has a 4-letter name, too. Dave, Chad, Brad, Glen, Rick. Really? Where are the Jebediahs and Ezekiels? Well, they’re probably on an Amish farm somewhere in Pennsylvania and I wouldn’t be chatting with them on a modern cellular telephone and laptop computer. But if these guys had more original names I wouldn’t have to think so hard. Because we all know that thinking *is* hard. Anyway, I charmed my way out of that hole and we’re still meeting up tomorrow night. Looks like I’m still getting that free fish fry & beer(s) after all.

I’m considering making one of those fugitive-like wall boards that Dog the Bounty Hunter makes where I have all of these guys’ names, photos, DOBs and reasons for their incarcerations. That way, when I get a call or text or what have you, I can just refer to that. I like everything about this idea. I wonder how I’d look in a black leather vest and platform cowboy boots…

And we're off...

Well, my first exit out of this dating gate went pretty well. I had a yoga class until 7:30 so we met for drinks later in the night. He only had 1 picture on his profile which, in my opinion, is usually pretty sketch. As such, I wasn’t expecting great things as my friends from Kohl’s would say. Usually if they only have 1 picture it’s because they’re not that attractive and this picture hit juuuust the right angle or it’s some random picture they got off the internets and he’s most likely a serial killer. It has to be one of the two. At least that’s where my mind goes.

Anyway, some guy strolled into the bar solo wearing jean shorts (strike 1) and Crocs (strike 2 - 572) and I was just thinking “Please don’t be him.” It wasn’t. So when my date finally showed up I breathed a sigh of relief. Tall, dark(ish) and adorbs. Plus, he smelled great and had a bunch of tattoos which I’m a sucker for. The beginnings of a date are usually kind of awk but the conversation flowed really well. He had a really deep voice which was nice to listen to. We pretty much talked for about 3 hours and then headed over to the dart board where I dominated. And by dominated I mean lost. I admit that my mind drifted off a few times thinking how I’m going to tear him apart on my blog today. He was totally normal and not giving me much material here. But that’s such a good thing. After all, this is only the beginning so I’m sure I’ll have plenty to discuss. Anyway, he asked if I wanted to hang out again this weekend and I said I was down. When we wrapped up the date he walked me to my car, gave me a hug and told me to text him when I got home. He was a total gentleman and really nice. Not the usual date.

But fear not, I’m sure the future creepers that I will undoubtedly be embarking upon will be a good read. After all, I seem to run in to so many. Like the guy I went on a date with who talked incessantly about his cat Roxy that has diabetes, the ass who told me he had Tourette’s so he could shout out expletives loudly at the bar or the guy who got on the dance floor (alone) and was both poppin’ and lockin’ while simultaneously dropping ass. There are gems everywhere, ladies. You just have to figure out which rock to find them under. I’m a pro. Let me show you the way.

Well, I’ve got a whole bunch of unread e-mails from these dating sites in my in box. One from a guy who listed “herring” as the first item in his ‘Dislikes’ list. Most people say “bad breath”, “people who are rude”, “senior citizens”. Nope. Not this guy. He really isn’t a fan of smoked fish.

So, 1 down, 29 to go.

You must be the cause of global warming because you're so hot!

Ugh. Lame. This is one of the first messages some guy sent me when I started up one of my dating profiles again. I don’t seem to remember Al Gore talking about me in his documentary. But then again, I wasn’t really paying attention.

And so it begins… my foray (back) into the dating world. I’ve recently been on a dating hiatus for several reasons. But here I am again. However, this time I decided to have a goal. I’ve seen a bunch of “30 Dates in 30 Days” blogs. But since I have a job, kids, friends… you know, a life, that simply won’t work for me. So I’ll see your 30 dates and raise you as many days as it takes. And then I’m going to talk about all of them behind their backs on this blog. Nothing wrong with that, right?

I started out this process by starting a few profiles on a couple freebie sites and last night I went balls to the walls and shelled out some money for one. And I’m mulling over one more. But dating sites aren’t the only means for which I’m going to put myself out there. I’m going to make more of an effort to meet some people organically. I’ve never really just asked a guy out. But I’m challenging myself to do so. Also, I’m gently prodding (aka forcing) some of my other single friends to participate in some “singles events” with me. For instance, a group of my girls & I are going to a speed dating function in a couple weeks. Awkward? Check. Uncozy? Check. Let’s do it! I believe that it’s good to keep an open mind and force myself into situations outside my comfort zone. And then make other people come with me.

So here I go. I’ve got my first date tonight with some guy I met on both those freebie sites. He & I were going back & forth on one site & then I get a message from him on the other site that said “We’re pathetic.” ha ha. So we’ve been chatting for a few days and tonight we’re meeting for drinks. He seems pretty cool but there are a few things about him that make me go hmmmm. He’s already overly… um… affectionate with what he calls me. Babe? No thanks. But overall he’s really nice and we get along well so let’s see what happens.

I don’t have a lot of blog experience. I’m guessing I should keep these posts relatively concise so I’ll wrap this up. Needless to say, if you don’t hear from me tomorrow the date probably didn’t go well & please call for help. xo